Riding 'round Atlanta, windows down, yeah I'm cruisin'
Family fell apart 'cause of money, it got ruined
Now I'm lightin' up, more than ever gettin' zooted
I can't help this feeling, take me back to the old days
It's definitely different now
And I don't wanna come off ungrateful at all
'Cause I appreciate everything, but
I don't know, I been thinkin'
Nowadays I don't trust anyone, I'm surrounded
I feel like my money's gettin' spent before I count it
Thankful that I'm still able to love
Despite the fucked up shit I been through in the past
I might just pour another shot in my glass
To fight the feeling that this isn't gonna last
Lyrics like these... Yeah, spot on. It's one of those days when I miss having a car. I would just ride around town, cruising, song blasting the speakers, just...Feeling. Being.
So missing that right now. So wanting just to shut up and ride around. City lights shining bright while we pass by them...
Today I saw an image with scambled letters on Facebook. Said there that the 3 words you see first are your reality right now. I saw change, purpose and gratitude. Obviously I don't take stuff like that literally but I find it fun to search for those words, see how my brain works. I always go for the middle at first (curious if anyone else does the same), then just randomly.
But yeah, found those words. And I am grateful for everything. Even the hard stuff. Even the sad stuff. They made me...me. Purpose... I have one. I have many actually. I find it hard to make things about it and not me. Call me selfish but hey, I care about myself. Sorry. Not sorry. So I feel a bit lost at the moment. A bit...Purposeless. Even though I know I'm not. I'm pretty clear about what I have to do. I just... am lost and a bit confused. I'll be allright tho'. I always am. But yeah... That ride, that cruise through town might've done the trick right now...
And change. Oh....The ever coming change. I am so used to change it almost became predictable. Change doesn't scare me. Change bores me. I know change is good (most of the time). But honestly, right now, certainty would be surprising to me. Would be somewhat spontaneous.
Some good old routine, good old settling would be nice. Would be less tiresome. So take me back to the old days... As the song says.
Just realised a few days back, I actually don't know how it's like to be in a long term relationship anymore. I mean... The intimacy, the comfort, the safety, the reassurance. It's been a whirlwind for over 5 years now (yeah, I am including my last actual relationship there too, even tho' it technically was long term, but not the usual kind).
And yeah, granted I did ask the Universe for something special. It would be nice if it didn't imply so much work tho'. I'm tired. Don't have anymore patience for this shit. This is prolly just a rant, and the moment I'd have some of that easiness, I'd most likely get bored (which is why the good Lord sees to it that I don't get that, I know, I know). Still would be nice to rest my mind & heart for a while.
Getting back to the song. And the mood. Yeah... This is the mood of the day. This right here. Wanna ride down Bucharest, windows down, yeah, cruising... Being lit up... So I can go back to the old days.
P.s. Drop a comment with your go to song for cruising around town aimlessly. ;)
21:00:00
GeminiGirl
